I just watched her celebration of life videos and in one of them her sister said something that really struck me - "She wasn't afraid to be happy." Upon reflection, I know that at nearly 44, the same could not be said of me.
Goal setters always try to have you think of what you'd want said of you at your funeral, write your own eulogy/obiturary and all that, and then live your life so that is what is said of you. I've always struggled with that. I've never been able to come up with anything. Now, I think I know.
God has been working on me for the last few years about not allowing my circumstances to determine my joy. I have been richly blessed by God, certainly more than I deserve. I know that. And yet, I have allowed almost any excuse to temper that joy. Other people aren't so fortunate. It could end at any time. Really, if you look, you can always find a reason to not be happy.
Chrissie had everything stacked against her and yet she chose to be happy anyway. And make no mistake, it's not that it came naturally to her, anymore than it does to any of us. She fought hard. She was a warrior princess of the kingdom. It takes real courage to not be afraid to be happy in this life.
I want people to be able to say of me at the end of my life - "She wasn't afraid to be happy." But frankly, that idea kind of scares me. What would my life look like if that were to be true? Is that why there is so much unhappiness in the world? It takes work to be happy. You're constantly fighting an uphill battle against the tide of circumstances. It takes courage to fight that fight every moment of every day and not grow weary. You really do have to "boss your heart" to keep it choosing joy despite circumstances. There's no coasting. I seriously doubt I have Chrissie's courage to do this...but I have her example.
The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. - Isaiah 11:6Thank you Chrissie for teaching me about "bossing your heart" and not being afraid to be happy.